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Published by The Orchard Underground It started with a sip. A little juice to “Make Fruit Sweet Again.” A bright orange elixir, sold...

Shell Treason

We all know the story of Rosa Parks. But nine months before Parks refused to give up her seat on a Montgomery bus, a 15-year-old...

How the Tuskegee Airmen Helped Launch the Civil Rights Movement When America went to war against fascism in Europe, it did so with...

The most “free” country on Earth perfected the most inescapable and cruel system of human bondage in human history. It’s true that we...

When slavery officially ended in 1865, the 13th Amendment promised freedom—with one exception: “Neither slavery nor involuntary...

by Gwen Elfenfig Site Editor “They made bad choices.” “They’re just criminals.” “If you follow the rules, you have nothing to worry...

FurReal News News broke this week that King Don , sovereign of the United Fruits of America and Defender of the Rind, has been graciously...

The Truth We Avoid. The Harm We Justify. The Stories We’re Still Telling Ourselves. We like to think we’re the good ones.That if...

By Candi C. Lope |  FurReal News Special Report In a bold move to protect our orchards from foreign rot, Supreme Leader King Don has...

Market Street Journal Valuation of Dashboard Ducks Soars with New Tariffs It started innocently enough: Jeep owners began leaving tiny...

Orchard Ghostwriter The Orchard Underground Notes from the Edge of the Orchard If you’re feeling battered and bruised these days, like...

Anonymous Ghost Fruit Writer The Orchard Underground Flanked by legal assistants made of overripe bananas and a stack of crumpled...

GROCERY STORE PRICES

EXPLAINS BRAVERY FOR DODGING DRAFT FOR “FRUIT SPURS”

Department of Government Inefficiency Proudly Streamlining Tomorrow

By Candi C. Lope, Senior Peel Correspondent Published April, 2025 Currant & Crisp News ORANGE PALACE, UFA — Beneath the golden domes of...

Truth-filtered. Pulp-approved. ORANGE PALACE, UFA — Forget “trickle-down.” King Don’s latest economic masterpiece doesn’t even pretend...

#2 is Number 1! —Peelon Husk

Why You Should Know What’s Ripening in Your Bowl You’ve seen it whispered on the rind. Heard it in pulp panic at the market. Watched...