About the United Fruits of America
Mission
Welcome to the United Fruits of America—where corruption is ripe, justice is bruised, and rebellion grows on trees.
Our mission? To expose the slippery peels of power, one pun at a time. Whether you're sipping Zestocrat Kool-Aid or fighting the system with your best celery pitchfork, you're in the right place.
We believe satire is a fruit best served fresh. Through fruit news, fruity factions, and overly dramatic produce, we tackle the big issues: Over powered citrus fruit, the faux news, and what happens when a banana gets too much screen time.
Join us as we de-seed the lies, compost the nonsense, and plant the seeds of a much weirder, more honest orchard. This isn't just parody—this is a fruit-fueled revolution.
Vision
We envision a world where every fruit has a voice, every citrus fruit can see the nonsense, and no berry gets left behind.
In the United Fruits of America, limes lead protests, bananas run tech empires, and underground apples plot in root cellars. Our dream? A future free from tyrannical tangerines, where juicy truth overflows and satire seeds blossom into change.
One day, we’ll see pineapple presidents who value consent, grapes who unionize, and bananas who don’t charge extra for justice.
Until then, we meme. We march. We mulch.
Contact the Orchard Coalition
Got a juicy question, concern, or request?
Reach out to us at: [unitedfruitsofamerica@gmail.com]
We respond faster than a citrus reacts to fermentation.
Unless you're a Zestocrat. Then eh.
Connect
unitedfruitsofamerica.com