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Currant & Crisp – Issue 01

The Unmatched Orbit of Peelon Husk + Farmhand Strike Special

 

Welcome to the inaugural issue of Currant & Crisp, the Zestocrat-heavy newsletter of the United Fruits of America. This juicy edition dives deep into the slippery rise of Peelon Husk, the banana-brained mogul behind BananaLinked™ and the Mars Resettlement Initiative. From humble peel to planetary influence, Peelon shares his vision of optimized efficiency in an exclusive interview.

 

But it’s not all smoothies and satellites—fruit laborers across six regions have risen up in the largest strike in United Fruits of America memory. Discover the simmering tensions of the “Fruit-to-Table Gap” and the rising threat of rindbot automation in The Rind Stops Here.

 

Plus:

• Top-secret tidbits in “5 Things You Didn’t Know About Peelon Husk”

• Zesty satire ads for RindGuard™, Citraglow™, and Zestify™

• Underground murmurs in Letters to the Editor

• Hard truths from “Ask Granny Smith”

 

Currant & Crisp, April 2025, Issue 1

$1.99Price

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